Last week, I was passing through Springfield, Missouri on my way to visit a customer; and invited my daughter to have lunch with me. She teaches at a local college there, and her schedule just happened to allow her to get away for an early lunch. So, the two of us enjoyed sandwiches at a local downtown restaurant.
After ordering our food, we sat and just talked. Our conversation continued as we ate, and then, on the drive back to campus. We talked about our families, our jobs, and about life in general. It has only been a few days, and although I recall a couple of highlights from our conversation, mostly I simply remember being together. Well, that, and the sense of pride I had as I sat there.
I’m proud of both of us, and of our relationship. Fallout from my drug addiction and the subsequent divorce from her mother, had left a chasm between us. The two of us invested over a year in counseling to help build a bridge over that chasm, and that simple lunch represented the fruits of the investment we had both made in reconciling.
Then, last night, I sat at the dining room table with Shaun. We were working through a math assignment, as well as a quiz in the subject that was once his nemesis. My own confidence in helping him with even seventh-grade math was once pretty weak. I remember having struggled through math at his age, and questioned my ability to be of much help when I began sitting with him to work on it a few weeks ago.
The dining room was filled with celebration last night. Each time he submitted his answer on the laptop in front of him, a green check mark would appear, indicating that he had gotten the answer correct. With each correct answer, we exchanged high-fives, and gave a little shout of victory.
As with my daughter, I am proud of both of us. Anytime the word “Step” is part of a relationship, there are bound to be some choppy waters to navigate. He is almost 14, and is naturally developing his own unique interests. Interests that can create a chasm all its own in a relationship. Yet, there we were; bridging that chasm with, of all things, math.
Yesterday, our family was invited to have lunch with friends after church. As the conversation went on, I found myself describing the path my relationship with God has taken through the years. I talked about the chasm that drugs had created in that relationship, and how God had used the recovery process to build a bridge over that chasm.
I was a bit startled by the reaction to my story from the fellow seated across from me. He said that it was a beautiful story. Beautiful story? How on earth can that be? I was reminded that not so very long ago, I had assumed that the story of my drug abuse would become a permanent barrier not only between God and me; but also between “church people” and me. Yet here was a well-respected fellow offering me genuine encouragement over my journey.
When I first got clean, and was encouraged to practice gratitude on a daily basis, I really struggled. At the suggestion of others, I would put together a list of things in life for which I was grateful. Many times it was a hollow exercise. Life had left such a chasm between me and any genuine gratitude, that I thought the best I might one day achieve would be gratitude for simply not wanting to die any longer.
Back then, I would find myself wondering if the gratitude I saw from other recovering addicts was genuine. Had they truly found gratitude, or was it all a sham? If it was genuine, would I ever be able to find even a fraction of what they seemed to be experiencing?
Thankfully, I eventually discovered a way to unlock genuine gratitude in my life. My life was filled with chasms. Yet those chasms could be bridged. Bridges don’t just build themselves though. Bridging those chasms would take time and effort. Sometimes, the bridges required professional counseling. At other times, creativity and open-mindedness were needed. Faith was even required for some bridges.
Whatever it took, bridging those chasms brought gratitude on a level I could not have imagined possible. There are still some chasms in my life that are yet to be bridged. No, I’m not going to claim to be grateful for those chasms. I will, however, remain grateful for the knowledge that as long as I remain willing to do the work, bridges can still be built. On the other side of each of those bridges, I know I will find gratitude.
Have a remarkable day!
Daily Spiritual Principle - one addict's thoughts 